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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

It’s my first time! What should I do? Firstly, look into yourself! Think about what you are seeking, and write out your thoughts - trust me, we’ll need this when you reach out to make a booking! Really drop into what you’d like to experience and what you DON’T want to experience - one of the things that’s a giant red flag for providers are clients who say “I have no limits or boundaries.” It simply isn’t true, and it’s a sure fire way to have a terrible experience. Secondly, do your research! Read through all my sections and see if we’re the right fit. Do the same for any other provider that you wish to see. One of our pet hates is people who simply haven’t even read through the materials that we’ve spent so much time meticulously crafting. Don’t be that person. If you’d like to read up more satisfactionproject.com by Georgie Wolf is an EXCELLENT resource about sex work etiquette and beginners guides! Make contact with me via email or my contact form on my Sessions page after having read all of this with your desires! Please be open, honest and authentic - I hold a space of absolute non-judgement, all that I ask of you is respect in your communications, and this includes respecting my time! I don’t like having to fish for information, and on the flip side I don’t like having to read through your entire life story to get to the point. My time is precious and finite, please use it respectfully! Go through my screening process - this may involve recommendations from other providers if you’ve got previous experience, or some form of identity / age verification, to make sure you’re of the age of consent! Why do I do this? Because I need to protect myself; my work spaces and the people around me. Performing screening helps me to ensure that you’re not an unsafe individual. Confirm your booking location, time and length. Pay your deposit via one of my options! Why deposits? Because we’re time based professionals, and when we hold aside a space for a booking that doesn’t eventuate, we don’t get paid. Paying a deposit shows that you’re serious about our time and your commitment to our session! Don’t worry, if the unexpected occurs you can always reach out to reschedule. My deposit and cancellation policies are available at the my Sessions page.

I’ve had / heard of terrible experiences with male / AMAB sex workers, how can I be sure I will be safe? It’s an unfortunate aspect of the industry that many male / AMAB workers have predatory, unsafe and unethical practices. With a strong service aspect to my personality, I take great joy in catering to your needs and keeping you safe. I will happily offer industry references, as well as consenting client references to help make your decision!

I’m a sex worker too, will you take bookings from me? Yes! Often those who provide professional erotic services are the ones most in need of receiving. After spending your days giving touch, intention and energy to others, don’t you deserve something for you? I offer discounted sessions to all peers and sex industry professionals, starting at $250/hr for all standard session types.

I have injuries / chronic illness/conditions / am disabled, will you take bookings from me? Yes! I take extreme care with my sessions, and am familiar with many types of disability and chronic illnesses and conditions such as hypermobility, EDS etc. I am well versed in body mechanics and encourage active communication to make sure that we operate in the safest conditions

I’m neurodivergent / physically disabled / am mentally disordered, and I have specific needs and accomodations, can I still session with you? Yes, in most cases! I provide an accommodating, understanding, neurodivergent / disability aware space, and am open to learning how to safely interact with any conditions that I am unfamiliar with. Please feel free to approach me with any questions that you may have about my experiences and accessibility of spaces.

I have trauma, does that mean I can’t play? It does not - it does mean that we have to take great care around the edges of this, and this is one of the questions that I ask in my pre-scene negotiations. Please reach out if you want to discuss the specifics before you choose to engage in my services! I am trauma aware and have a wealth of experience in dealing with this.

I have CPTSD / PTSD / Trauma and I’ve heard that BDSM can help, is this true? It is true to an extent; there are activities in BDSM that can help you to find a sense of control, there are ways to recreate and reframe experiences which can transform or resolve past events. There are no guarantees however, and I make no claims that I can “fix” you - I only engage in these kinds of sessions if you already have an existing active mental health support network such as therapists / psychiatrists to make sure that you have support if you are actively triggered or need to debrief at a deeper level than I can offer. I can recommend trauma / kink informed practitioners if you don’t know where to start!

I am afraid that I am too old / young / inexperienced / overweight / weak / unattractive etc. I have only every refused sessions to those who are disrespectful, where I do not have the skillsets that are desired, or whose requests are likely to cause permanent harm. We are all worthy and deserving of acceptance, connection and erotic experiences, and I will work with your particular attributes to shape a session where your desires can be met and you will stay safe.

I get really emotional and may cry / scream / express intensely during play, is that ok? Yes! All your emotions, reactions and expressions are welcome here, as long as we will both be safe during the session.

I don’t like pain! Is BDSM still for me? Yes! BDSM is an enormous sea of possibilities, and pain is just one of the facets of it. Any non-normative (see heteronormative reproductive intercourse) form of erotic expression can be seen as BDSM. The most gentle touches and experiences can be found here.

I laugh too much am I bad at this? No! Sex and life are inherently absurd, and to take it and oneself too seriously is the most absurd reaction to it. My sessions often result in helpless laughter, bad jokes and all the variations of expression. Your laughter is truly welcome.

You talk about magic a lot, what do you mean by this? My philosophy around magic is a combination of lived experience, experimentation, and a love of the edges of science, psychology and Jungian mysticism. I consider myself a chaos magician, which simply means I follow no set rules and will use whatever tools at hand to elicit the results required. Chaos magic is a structure for combining a range of practices from literal esoteric practices, drawing techniques from western and eastern mysticism, experimentation, psychology, science, philosophy and lived experience. Sex magick is a practice that uses the energy from orgasmic / libidinal energy to power spells, reinforce intentions and providing ways to enmesh desired outcomes and changes into our perceptive filters to actualise them. Often the more traditional psychological methods for internal change and processing are too rooted in logic and rationality to allow them to overcome the barriers that have been put in their way; utilising magical practices, embodied techniques, using the body and surreal logic can help to let go of the rational mind that gets in your own way. There are so many internal practices that have measurable outcomes in the external - meditation practices and visualisations that change the ways our bodies work; Jungian psychology is an accepted Western scientific model of understanding which embraces mysticism - utilising concepts of synchronicity and archetypes among others; even the majority of psychological therapeutic practices are at their heart methods of reorganising and reprocessing unseen objects and processes which are highly subjective - internal family systems create our own collection of “entities” of different ages and attributes. Visioning, journeys, channeling, ritual practices, knowledge downloads, there are many perspectives and methods of creating internal change that manifests in our external world through our own agency. And then there are the truly unexplainable and unfathomable moments, the ineffable experiences related in moments of shared whispers around a darkened room or flickering fire. I don’t purport to hold an unshakeable and concrete view around the spiritual and magical; but I believe in the power of belief and internal processes, and allow my experiences to defy explanations, to hold them lightly and to just be without requiring everything to fit into neat, safe and quantifiable boxes. My own core experience of the unexplained is a death experience in my childhood, One of the keys to my magical practice is having appropriate expectations and a strong sense of ethics and personal responsibility. Please feel free to reach out if you have any more questions!

What are your limits and boundaries? I'm glad you asked! Non Consensual Bratting - I enjoy brat taming deeply, however I do not tolerate non-negotiated bratting or power disruptions Non Negotiated Touch - any touch on me that has not been negotiated is 100% unwelcome. If in doubt, ask. Politely. Malicious Disrespect - I expect the respect with which I treat you to be returned. Any knowingly disrespectful acts will be reason to terminate your session with no refunds.

SHIBARI FAQ'S

*Am I too fat / skinny / weak / disabled / old etc to experience Shibari?* Absolutely not! While not all forms of Shibari play may be right for you, there is always a way that you can experience the ropes safely, intimately and deeply. I have experience with a wide range of bodies, dis/ability and how to find the right tie for you. Please reach out with any questions that you may have about your individual circumstances!

I’ve heard of bad experiences and consent violations while people have been restrained, will I be safe with you? It’s unfortunately true that the restriction of self and handing over of agency and trust has led to abuses of trust and harm within and without the community. I operate with highly developed consent practices and ethical standards, and am happy to provide professional references that you can contact. I strongly encourage vetting anyone that you choose the tie with, as any act of restriction is a deeply vulnerable situation.

Can I bring friend / lover / etc to watch? Yes! I welcome witnesses freely into the space we enter - any additional cost is dependent on expectations of interaction.

Can I get photos of my experience? Of course! Shibari can be an incredible aesthetic erotic art and it’s a wonderful thing to be able to see one’s beauty in the ropes. I also offer sessions which focus on the aesthetics and artistic collaboration, see Shibari Photo Shoots in my Shibari section!

Will I have marks from the ropes? It depends. Most of the time you will come away from a Shibari session with rope patterns on your flesh which will fade over a few hours. There may be some bruising, chafing and other longer lasting markings depending on how intense / vigorous the session is and your skin / flesh type. In some very rare cases some people may have an allergic reaction to jute - however this can be mitigated by antihistamines.

What is the potential for injury with ropes? Shibari is edgeplay - and the harder we play the more potential there is for injury. The most common injuries from ropes are nerve compressions, which is the swelling of tissue around nerve bundles which can then squeeze on the nerve, causing temporary or in extreme cases permanent loss of motor function and sensation in the extremities. Rotator cuff injuries and joint damage can occur from improper, unskilled or overly enthusiastic manipulation and stress on limbs. Positional asphyxiation is possible, where certain positions and body types can cause breathing to become difficult, leading to loss of oxygen to the brain and passing out. All of these risks are greatly increased with suspension bondage, which then also includes the possibility of being dropped and sustaining impact trauma, concussions, broken bones, and in extremis death. I know this all sounds really scary - and it is! For informed, ethical consent one needs to be aware of the risks. All of these things are mitigated by experience, training, checking in and clear communication, which makes it vitally important to communicate honestly about any pre-existing conditions. There can never be 100% guarantees of safety, and I have protocols in place for when things go wrong; please feel free to ask more about all of these processes and about your own conditions which may affect play - as I’ve said previously, it is very rare indeed that any attributes you posses will entirely exclude you from experiencing Shibari.

Am I too heavy for suspensions? No! That’s the short answer. It all lies in the engineering and an understanding of body mechanics. There is always a way to allow you to take flight. I have tied rope bottoms of all shapes and sizes.

Disability
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Magic
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TESTIMONIALS

“…since having sessions with you I’m having a much better time knowing where my boundaries are with The People and… gasp! I can actually express some of my desires. Thank fucking Christ.” – J/N

“Thank you for being such a wonderful part of the journey. All who session with you, all who have been taught by you or worked alongside you at Temple 22 leave rave reviews and are left thirsting for more.” Mistress Ruben, Temple 22

“I was nervous about my time with Mistress Lillith, but I had no need to be. Within minutes she had me under her spell, eagerly awaiting each delicious new sensation. She expertly teased me and toyed with me, reading my body beautifully. She was very attentive, incorporating all of the elements I had mentioned wonderfully, as well as delightful and unexpected surprises. My only regret? Being so blissed out and in my body that I didn’t open my eyes more to drink in her stunning image above me. I cannot recommend making time to see Mistress Lillith highly enough, a truly incredible experience awaits you!” Nora Nymph

“This was my first time seeing a professional, my first time with rope and my first time with an experienced person in BDSM. I had originally only booked one session, but it was so mind blowing and addicting that I just had to book another one almost straight away and I’m already dreaming of our third session together. Jaiden took what I wanted and added so much more to the experience that it went into the realm of my ultimate fantasies.” – Carina

“First suspension with Jaiden Lillith. I’ve never felt so vulnerable and alone in my life – but with so much strength in the loneliness. I’m aware I don’t experience rope like most bunnies seem to but Jaiden gave me strength when I was feeling so alone, I found strength in being by myself thanks to them. And being able to sit here afterwards, so strong in – and by – myself, is a greater gift than I ever could’ve thought possible. Thank you.” – K (Suspension Shibari / Waxplay session)

“Just want to say I had a wonderful time at the (Domina) Party tonight. I feel like you know all my darkest desires! I really like your style, from the subtle whispers of “Good girl” to the gentle caressing before the harsh whip. You’re like my role model , when I channel my domme side. Graceful, gentle but firm…. You’ve all been wonderful in taking my S & M virginity.” – Tiffany / Tim (Domina Parties – Obey)

“It was as if you wrapped a rope around all the shattered pieces of myself and drew them back into me. It was like coming home.” – K (Shibari session)

“That was amazing, that was beyond all of my expectations. You just took six months of pent up energy and released it…. I should have come to you earlier. There are no words to describe it. Thank you!” – B (Shibari / Headmistress – School Girl session)

“That was out of this world. Everything I expected and more.” – B (Medical / Interrogation / Electroplay)

"What a great experience, honestly its ineffable, I can't describe the ways in which its impacted me, its helped my understanding of myself. my desires, my sexuality, and release some of the traumas that I have held in my body and impacted the way that I act. Its also helped my relationship with my partner, allowing me to be a more valid less restricted version of myself, and showing them that they also don't need to hold back either." - E (OzKinkFest Workshops)

Testimonials

MELBOURNE | SYDNEY

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